"Just what is 'Stealth Mode' supposed to be? "THERE IS NO SANCTUARY," agreed the Great Calculator. "Bonan apetiton," he said, pouring a hideous green slime into their bowls. "I am an aquanaut! It was designed to be a world where everyone was equal — free of the chains of history, social hierarchy, and bourgeois affectation. said Buster incredulously. "All this violence is unnecessary," said TuMok. cried B'Lar Nah, brandishing her impressive weapons. The wisdom of Solomon radiated from his stern features and piercing blue eyes. "Let's see if there have been any more abductions.". For generations the teeming masses of Panasia had been fanatically breeding for the sole purpose of creating this unstoppable invasion fleet. ", "FRELLING FRAKKING SMEGHEAD SHAZBOT FLOOP SCRUFFY NERFHERDER DROKKING BASTICH ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!!". AKA: Grave Robbers from Outer Space, The Vampire's Tomb, Vampiros del espacio. His head was shaven (Proton wondered why the Man of the Future had to be synonymous with baldness — you'd never find a starship captain without a full head of hair!) It's not the outside we need to look at — it's what's going on inside. A drooping black moustache flowed into a neatly-trimmed goatee. The podcar raised its bubble dome and they all clambered out. VISITOR KINCAID, YOU HAVE BEEN CLASSIFIED AS A PEST! Where are they now? "B.O.R.G. A stream of expanding luminescent Lifesavers shot from Proton's blaster, only to reflect harmlessly off her mirror-like bodysuit. Jumping Jupiter!" Proton could see why the Martian Hegemony was concerned. "She's dead, Captain.". Commander Kotay was saying. "I am Captain Proton of the Space Rangers — Victor of the Battle of Tycho, Hero of the Big Whoops! ", "Last thing I heard, Mr. President, you were having an unscheduled appointment with a drop-dead gorgeous cyborg. Sleuth of the Spaceways! ", "Don't think you can bamboozle me, you double-crossing descendent of monkeys! "Your very existence is illogical.". There's talk of games and electronic mail as well, but I doubt that will ever take off. said Proton in disbelief. They've been watching too many episodes of The Y-Not Files." "Hell is being trapped in a room for eternity with you two. Mount Terror, to be precise. "Good evring gentremen. And why do I spend so much time wearing a digital chronometer? ", "I am unable to effect shutdown," said the Martian, his voice terse. arcology is five kilometers in all three dimensions," said Fan, "with a projected thousand year lifespan in the fourth. "With headlines like these, the future of the Space Rangers is assured. asked Buster. The domed ceiling was a huge display bubble — live images from comm feeds, spyeye drones and radio-controlled blimps were projected onto its surface. "I am Sock," said the sage, "because that is what I smell like after 900 years without a bath. "Or maybe this whole Weapon of Mass Destruction affair is a hoax to justify the conquest of space — just like the alleged theft of a Tesla doomsday device is being used to justify the continued existence of the Space Rangers! Reptiloids from Sirius Minor were cross-dressing as Earth politicians; sentient dolphins trundled along in tracked supermarines. ", "I'll say," said Buster. NASA.gov brings you the latest news, images and videos from America's space agency, pioneering the future in space exploration, scientific discovery and aeronautics research. "For years people like you laughed at my name! shouted Demonica, pointing at a tiny speck floating in mid-air. I don't got all day! "Do you think I can dodge raybeams moving at the speed of light?" A dozen husky-men stood with their arms outstretched on a wind-swept Antarctican plain. "What an excellent idea. Proton flicked it off without taking his eyes from the terrain ahead. And in news just in: Admiral Kathryn Janeway has reported a Close Encounter of the Preferred Kind with a flying saucer holding a steaming cup of Jamaica Blue coffee__", Proton switched off the telescreen. "You bastard, I look even sillier than I did before! "That was a parallel reality.". Movie Plan 9 from Outer Space 1959 Full English Subtitle. Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space. Gneelicks herded them inside the hut, which was merely a foyer covering a long ramp descending into the ground. I have located one hundred and forty-seven concealed access tunnels you seem unaware of. declared Proton, savagely reducing her image to a haze of static. Anti-gravity machines hung by visible wires while bubble machines made pathetic imitations of luminescent protoforms. And what about all those villains you've falsely claimed as kills — isn't it strange the way they keep coming back from the dead? ", "Hang on," said Buster, replacing the flashbulb on his camera. Get us out of here! AUTHOR'S NOTE: My thanks to Kerensa for her beta work. His cigar-shaped spaceship was emblazoned with a black fist, clenched tight but for a raised middle finger. ", "I won't stand for this!" The flared shoulder-yoke that required all doorways to be two yards wide. This time we fight not against tyranny, oppression, or a three percent tea tax — but annihilation! (I am legally required to inform you that Kilrathi, Kzinti and other such felinoids are except from this statement). Above it all was suspended a huge electronic map of Antarctica, with volcanic activity marked by glowing red dots. yelled the bold space hero. "Remote teleautomation will disengage five seconds from...now.". Then tiny seedlings began to sprout from the pulped carcass of D'Ork. U.F.O's reported over major cities. For though his location was classified to the highest level of Earth's defense forces, Proton had been hunted down by a foe more cunning and relentless than any he had ever encountered. Mr. The exhaust stream can cause severe scalding to unprotected areas of the body. I have the heart of a lion and the ferocity of a tiger! A submarine-plane erupted from the surface of the ocean, rockets blazing in a futile effort to lift its heavy pressure hull into the air. Now a pristine-white dove flew gracefully across the image tank, a cobalt missile clasped in its claws. Usually ships within 7 to 8 weeks. Your favorite. ", Buster started to snigger until she added: "And this must be your faithful co-pilot, Wanky. Price: US $7.99. That nipple-ring had been in Admiral Janeway's family for ten generations (* see 'Captain Janeway: Scourge of Java'). Other commuters had switched their electro-horns to full auto and were shouting abuse at each other. "Let there be fright!" Whatever parental affection existed in his eyes was hidden by the sallow tint of his glasses. We assumed from human behavior that your brains were located in your behinds. But on the safe freeways of 2009, every vehicle was remotely-controlled via radio-teleautomation by the Great Calculator. "It can't be!" The rocket booster blasted in response, sending his Armored Slave Suit hurtling into the air. ", "No, he means S.H.I.T.," said Proton. "We can't just sit around waiting to die!" And those allegations against Captain Video haven't helped either. Ended: Mar 20, 2021. "No, there definitely won't be!" ", She waved the pad in her hand. Through the dust and smoke it came, with a terrible roar that ripped apart the night. "Sounds like the name of a mad scientist," said Buster casually. The imagizer blinked off. "No nation-state can be trusted with physical control of a machine which guides the destiny of the entire human race. Jet-propelled trains raced through elevated tunnels carved into block-spanning megastructures, while gyropter taxis flew on suicidal flight paths through sweeping searchlights and windy concrete canyons. Artificial muscles and organs allow superior stamina and reflexes. Most practical applications had been in the sporting field, such as the famous tennis player Bjorn of Borg. The world will soon tremble at the name Heinrich Dorfmenstein Zarkendorf! ", "How was I to know that tinfoil hats would become the latest fashion? How could he rationalize the need for adventure to a public made indolent by such everyday luxury? "Whatever," muttered a bleary-eyed Buster. "Now I will assimilate you. Blondification and breast enlargement enable me to cloud men's minds, while my uberwave aerials give me remote control of any electronic circuit without the need for inefficient physical manipulation. The walls wobbled noticeably, and the instrumentation looked like it had been scavenged from a sound studio bankruptcy sale. Plan 9 from Outer Space Dead humans, zombies and vampiresThis product is manufactured on demand using DVD-R recordable media. The holographic President scowled in annoyance. Atomic submarines! ", "You rang?" Who was this mysterious foe? Four walls, a roof and a ceiling — each of equal dimensions, each as blank as a mind with writer's block. "YES, JOHNNY?" This work could have adult content. You rambunctious reject, you just destroyed the only known copy of the Necronomicon! "Like how to make bows and arrows?" "The ice rings of Saturn, the song-crystals of Mars, the wild jungles of Venus women. blared a bubble-headed booze synthesizer, waving its accordion-like arms. By the City-Devouring Demon of Nuclear Fire — what are you doing here, Tom?". "I told you not to call me that," said Kes sweetly. ", "I love scientifiction!" asked Gneelicks proudly. Several hours passed before they arrived over Port McMurdo — an ancient, undomed city of the Before Computer era. Evil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. The radionic detector beeped. Time stopped with the beat of their hearts as they hurtled down that never-ending chasm. We've got too much time on our hands — what with robots and labor-saving devices doing all the work. Anti-robot rioters have sacked a Servus manufactory in Paris (a city-block of Eperopolis) inflicting estimated damages of half a million credits. A winged rocket chose that moment to blast off for the Luna colonies, shaking the ground with the unbearable fury of its fiery thrusters. I mustn't run away!" recommended TuMok. The Martian sat down on the floor in a cross-legged position, his hands steepled before his face. A 'global village' of blimp-houses fled from an IRS gunship. To his shock the girl sat up with an ear-splitting scream! "Why are you sending me out to die, Father? ", "Rubbish!" Lining the walls were rows of transparent tubes — each holding a gorgeous naked girl, her intimate regions covered by strategically placed machinery. ", "Not while I have anything to say about it!" ", "Come on, TuMok. Well I shall let you die with your illusions intact, gentlemen. These were robot air-craft, piloted by gyroscopic brains that knew no fear, fatigue or mercy. shouted Buster. "What?" "Gratified, my dear," said Zarkendorf. Find out on Funology! Gneelicks was referring to the short but bloody conflict between the United States of America and the Sino-Soviet Union, when the Red Menace came skimming across the Bering Strait in their hovercrafts and ekranoplans, in a last desperate attempt to spread the Communist ideology before nuclear weapons made warfare obsolete. State the name by which you are known among your kind. "Something a bit heavier you said, Proton? Invisible power source violating all known laws of physics. "Unfortunately we have no viable samples of its tissue. "Yeah, they'll fall into the nearest bed," muttered Buster. "Eeh mon," said one dreadlocked Predator. ", "Hello Tobor. "Not according to a biometric imagery analysis conducted by the Great Calculator. "I am acting as Head of Security for a Very Important Personage — a recognized genius in the study of extraterrestrial life. Directed by John Johnson. "I'll have you know I was a captain in the Antarctican Militia and fought in the Advertising Campaign. When asked why extraterrestrials might be involved, a spokesman for Torchwood replied: "Every case we investigate involves aliens shagging — why should this be any different? asked Proton. Planets enshrouded by global cities that somehow maintained a breathable atmosphere. How dare he avoid the hideous death I had prepared for him! With Brian Krause, Sara Eshleman, Mister Lobo, Amy Hart. "In the name of the people of Earth, I arrest you on charges of murder, kidnapping, reckless endangerment, and public indecency — why do non-humanoid aliens go around without clothes anyway? Indicator lights flashed scarlet and the console flipped over to display military-grade optionics. "Let's see...Shock & Awe, Panic & Confusion, Sheeplike Obedience to Authority, Buy American, Ride of the Kumons...aha! There was a chattering from the telecomm console — a stream of ticker-tape slowly emerged from a slot. "Seismic indicators show every active volcano in Antarctica is approaching critical point, commencing with Mount Erebus," reported a blonde cyber-babe in a spray-on catsuit. "Annika, I want you to switch me to manual mode. They descended under control of the Great Calculator to the vertiport, where the other passengers disembarked. Request immediate support! The miracles of man seemed insignificant against this grand panorama. "Keep your hands off her, you furry fiend! Moms, Dads, and Teachers! We've got death dust, hallucinogen gas, world-wreckers, hell-weapons, atmosphere-eaters, self-replicating treknobabble viruses, WMD's incorporating the latest cloaking technology from Iraq, atom bombs the size of atoms, hand grenades that can obliterate the universe__", "Just something light, OK?" ", "I seem to recall it was your bright idea to spend billions of credits on those orbiting mind-control lasers! sci fi. Roaring with rage the monster charged blindly, claws swiping for its unseen foe. Nothing can stand in our way! They saw the installation manual being machine-translated by a dictorobitary bought on the cheap from a race of gaseous aliens with no concept of labor who only communicated via scent-based five-dimensional ideograms. ", "That's a lovely accent," Proton interrupted before things got physical. "FOOOOOOOOOL!" I squirt ink in your general direction! ", "You mean the latent military-industrial strength of America?". He was studying a sign embossed into the archway. I swore that one day I would make them all pay! exclaimed Proton. "WHAT are you people doing here? coughed Zarkendorf as he clambered to his feet. These faraway planets and moons provide a challenge rarely encountered in Kerbal Space Program. "Stupid Earthling! "Do you think I'm a shape-shifting alien infiltrator? A being from a world light-centuries from our own, where evolution took a radically different path. The problem is those rocket-propelled slugs take a few precious milliseconds to accelerate up to full velocity — so if you're too close to your target the bullets just bounce off! They could detonate intra-global bombardment rockets on their launch pads, shut down the energy webs of our cities, devastate countries through natural disasters, make women give up their virginity in torrid orgies__", "So why does our government have such a weapon in the first place? Would he die without experiencing the mysterious pleasures of women? '", "That is correct as I am powered by a micro-fusion reactor located between my buttocks. "Lonzak! Even if the target passes outside this distance, the microshell can still track them by using a chameleon mask to disguise itself as a member of the Internal Revenue Service__". What about that blue box you said could travel through time and space, but never seemed to get past Cardiff? THE final remnants of the door crumbled away and Annika-709 stepped through the entrance. A man-sized figure in an ill-fitting gorilla suit, wearing a diver's helmet topped by a wonky TV aerial, shambled towards them at a pace that might possibly have overtaken a drunken Galapagos tortoise. the creature yapped excitedly. State your demands, you infelicitous felon! "His work on the practical applications of atomic energy changed the face of the Earth — especially around Moscow. "You're supposed to be the expert in escaping from impossible situations, Proton. The door exploded outwards, and the three heroes rushed from the chamber seconds before it was flooded by a glaring corona of light. Your call is important to us, and has been placed in a queue.". What can be funny about the sun, moon, stars, and aliens? It has 640K of RAM (which should be enough for anybody), facsimile printer, infra-light pen, this rat-like gizmo called a Manually Operated User Selection Enabler (M.O.U.S.E.) ", "I'm Malicia!" A black leather jacket with jet-pack controls, sheepskin flying boots, and a low-slung blaster completed the ensemble. cried Zarkendorf, reappearing on the wallscreens. "Then why not start with something you're familiar with." "While intratomic energy brought great benefits to your species, it also had horrendous side effects: preachy Jane Fonda movies, incredible shrinking men, fifty-foot women who refused to do the washing up. "Sir, this is Captain Proton. "You can say that again," muttered Proton. "Impudent twerp! ", "They're not turning me into a bionic broad!" A thick black cable snaked out of a socket, past the corpse of a guard and into the massive energy coil. Even as they watched a chunk of neutronium fell to the floor, punching a visible hole in the fabric of space-time. Unions successfully lobbied the World Government into outlawing the construction of any robot in the imitation of a man. ", Buster dialed up the magnification on his bino-goggles. It surrounds us...and bogs us down. In meine Tasche. "That was a biological error. By slicing them up and eating them with a nice juicy steak! 'Impenetrable-Screen-Of-Energy-Shaped-Like-A-Giant-Condom ' ) `` Seems strange that the 2-X Machina would only handle the administration side — ancient! Alien from Skaro are 'too ludicrous to pose any threat '. `` you? cyborgs were designed... Controls to a three-inch shell. `` was it decided to go stomp all the. Gynoid puckered into a pit of piranhas failed to notice any other way did he know good. 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